Sheriff’s Report Number 472- TPD Sykora dealing with threats of suicide by older man. FEMS and Deputy Shipley to Life Alert Call, North 75. Railroad arm malfunction, IH-45 at FCR-1080. Water troubles at polling place in Cotton Gin, busted pipe. And yet another at the Training Center. Brown Hoss out for a lonely stroll by himself Sunday morning, Wortham. FEMS to FCR- 1220, man weak, incoherent.

Inmate in Anderson County ready to be released to our Jail. One more night under freezing then Weatherman says will warm up. Sure hope he’s right. Donie and Teague VFD’s, THDEMS and DPS Putz to accident Freestone area. Man in Teague area despondent, says if sees a police car will ram it, then come out shooting. Say young man, things just aren’t that bleak. Use that gray matter between your ears. You were put on this earth to live a long and full life, not cut it off in that manner. If you need someone to listen to you, drop by……I’m a good talker, and a good listener.

THDEMS to Washington, woman choking on food. Lady reports man acting obscene in adjacent car, IH-45. FPD to suspicious vehicle behind house on Blanton. Man seeking shelter, FCR-1171, but unwanted in neighborhood. Dep. Elom and Walker searching for reported loose cattle, FM-489. Another call comes in on man acting strange, FCR-1171, he has a few issues and not many want to be involved with him, Deputies have no luck in spotting him. Deputy Elom to report of missing wire, FCR- 530, quickly located.

Fairfield VFD, DPS Putz and Zotz to accident, Mile 203. Donie VFD to Hwy. 164, man 911’s, advises wife swallowed a very large pill, now it is hung in her throat, won’t go up, won’t go down, Dispatcher Suzanne suggests Heimlich Maneuver. Guess something worked as we heard no more on same. Loose cow, Old 75 at FCR-1128.

Loose cow, Salem Church. THDEMS to FCR-890, open heart patient says has open wound. TPD Howard stops vehicle reported running others off US-84. Counterfeit bill passed at Taco Bell, FPD Tiner to scene, apprehends female who gave same. Lady in Jail now for Forgery. Those little pens the cashiers swipe across the bills they are handed really do work. Have to use them now as the Xerox’s have improved to perfection.

Lady in Wortham having some type of allergic reaction to new pills, tongue is swelling, Wortham VFD and Mexia EMS to same. Fairfield VFD to fire at Keechi Creek bridge, FCR-481.

Very large gathering of area Officers and Judges to Training Center for masterful presentation by Co. Attorney Chris Martin concerning Juvenile Laws. Out very great Thanks to Chris for his excellence in gathering and presenting the information.

Just informed and later presented copy next day of article by Bob Bowman of Bob Bowman’s East Texas, a syndicated article that pops up weekly in several newspapers. Apparently, he found a copy of one of these weekly Sheriff’s Reports, quoted a few tales and gross exaggerations that I had written in order to add a little humor to his own column….. Say folks, I resent that very much….. Why, I always try to pass my written junk off as strictly serious, straightforward news reporting! Just like Cronkite, Brokaw, Huntley or Brinkley…..I deliver the news. How dare him to think that mine is anything other than truth!....Why, the insinuation is that I write this thing just for fun!.....You know, in retrospect, he might be just a little right…..No, no, that can’t be right….That was just when I started out with this sideline writing deal. No, I’d nearly forgotten….But back when they quoted me on the front page of the Wall Street Journal a few years back….Right there…I knew I needed to quit horsing around and get serious with my journalistic endeavors…..You know, I’ve still got my impromptu Acceptance Speech well polished now…..47 minutes the last time I worked on it last month! Been polishing on it for 7-8 years now. Strictly impromptu, you understand! Any day now, I fully expect to receive a call from New York City, telling me that I have been awarded that Hulitzer Prize for Journalism. President Obama got his Nobel Peace Prize….But I’ve got my sights set even higher!.... But enough of this and that for now…. Should my new friend Mr. Bob Bowman chance to peruse this paragraph, I must be absolutely honest and tell him about the highest words of praise that my weekly Sheriff’s Report ever received…..

A little old Lady, grayhaired, hair in a bun, came up to me one day and said, “Why, Sheriff Billings, I want you to know, I just love your Sheriff’s Report.” I never take praise well, and was a bit embarrassed but mumbled a few words like “we do our best, any success that we have is due to the dedicated employees who are our backbone, we always try to give at least a data burst on most things”….You know, something gracious about like that. But then she said, “No, no, that’s not what I love about it…..What I love is your article is always just the right size to cut out and line the bottom of my birdcage!” Maybe I’d better do a little checking on Mr. Bowman, come to think of it…..he might have a bird himself!

FPD Frasier arrests Lady driver on West Commerce, Suspended DL. Dep. Shaw pens loose horse, Boyd Curve. FEMS to Sunset, Lady unresponsive. Wortham VFD and Mexia EMS to Ave. D where 39 year old man reported breathing hard and knocked out…..plus, of course, he has been drinking, too. Deputies and TPD advised of man possibly coming from Mexia, intent on doing bodily harm to another.

FPD to College Street, Lady reports brother in law just threw a big rock at her car. WPD Carter to local Wortham Church, disagreement over wanting folks to leave the property. Repo Joe at it again, this time in Teague. DPS Putz jails motorist, IH-45, Navarro County Warrants. Deputy Richard McGowan arrests Lady at residence on Felony Warrant. And on another, FPOD Markham jails young man on Fairfield Traffic Warrant.

Trucks backed up at Love’s again, FPD to same. Southern Oaks VFD to flames near trailer house, FCR-185.FEMS and Butler VFD to FCR-301, 72 year old man with chest pains. Deputy Elom dealing with folks receiving obscene phone calls. Lots of money reported stolen from house on East 84, but they don’t want a Deputy to come until tomorrow! Man walking on Heather says two females pulled up in a big Caddy, pulled a big knife on him, FPD to same.

FPD Kindon doing Civil Standby on Ray Street, one of the folks involved found wanted on City Traffic Warrants, brought to Jailhouse. FPD Markham jails man for Theft $500-$1500. Dep. Robert Willis jails man on Probation Warrant. Report of smell of propane in house, US-84. THDEMS to Mimosa, Lady very ill.

Had company over the weekend; my uncle and aunt, Jimmie and Charlene, down from the burgeoning metropolis of Grassburr, Oklahoma. Now, I know, you’re thinking….. That ain’t so….But, I’m really serious, that’s the name, south of Leon, in the west end of Love County, barely over the Red River. I’ve previously mentioned both when writing of some short trips that we four have taken together…..Anyway, on Saturday Jimmie deflated my dignity before several listeners at Sam’s while dining…..Dang his hide! He had to tell that story about he and I, at ages 5 and 1 ½, slipping away from my grandparents house following a big summer rain at their farm, wading through every knee deep pothole and tire rut that we could find, finally being apprehended by our searching mothers about a mile away. Well, this wasn’t too bad…..but then he had to add that part about the droopy cloth diaper on me, sagging badly due to the weight of the muddy water, down to somewhere between my ankles and knees! If he’d just left off that last part….but no, every time he tells the tale, year after year, that diaper droops a little further!..... Just like my dignity!!!

Loose Pit Bull at business on N. 4th, scaring everybody old enough to be that way, TPD to same, dog’s owner then shows up….a few hours later same dog out again. Dep. Harrison to Austin State Hospital, Mental Transport. Large truck blocking road, North 75 at FM-833, bad place for a U-Turn, sport….tears up the pavement, can’t move, TxDOT and wrecker, plus Officers, to same. Observant Deputies observe a Dope Deal going down at Love’s, a tussle ensued in the store, the Good Guys won, Cocaine Powder, Crack, Pills and Marijuana all found.

WPD to Domestic Problem on Ave. B, man admits he is “drunk on his _ _ _,” arrested and jailed for same. FPD Tiner arrests female speeder on Warrant, and FPD Gallegos gets another on Running Stop Sign. Car mudded by another, also satellite system, Chestnut. Missing 71 year old reported, FCR-382, quickly located, doing plenty good. FEMS to Bond, Lady with possible broken leg. TPD to Dap’s, customer problems.

DPS Clay Zotz at Mile 197, one arrested, Possession of Pot. FPD Warren gets another, same charge, West Service Road. Man arrested by TPD Noll, too much knife, not enough handle. TPD to report of three clowns cussing and hollering, Loop 255. Complaint from Lady husband has carted off the TV, computer and food. Family struggles on FM-1367, some trying to evict others. Deputy Robertson assisting locals with stolen identity problems.

FEMS to Back Troubles, FCR-1230. Saddened to hear of the passing of Mr. Monte Cole. FEMS to back troubles, FCR-1230. Dep. Diana Willis to report of missing money, she locates same.

Until Next Week . . . RALPH BILLINGS