Pardon me if I don’t take politics very seriously. I am afraid that if I did, it would be too disappointing. Actually, it all can be kind of funny if you put yourself in the right frame of mind.

Most folks in Texas are aware that we have a real battle going for the Republican nomination for governor this year. Most folks also think the battle is between a pair of serious candidates, or three serious candidates, depending on your own particular brand of politics.

But, here is what I find to be humorous. In one corner is Gov. Good Hair, and in the other is Sen. Good Hair. I did not dub our governor as Good Hair, somebody else beat me to it, and Sen. Good Hair is a variation of the Breck Girl, as the senior senator from Texas was commonly referred to by the late Molly Ivins. I am generally not original enough to come up with good nicknames.

This year is different, though. The winner of the Gov. Good Hair and Sen. Good Hair matchup could possibly face a hair care mogul running for the Democratic nomination. That is, if he beats Mayor No Hair, the follically challenged former mayor of Houston.

To take this to another level, the lower level of state agricultural commissioner, a candidate named Kinky is seeking a party nomination. Kinky is a nickname, although hardly anyone knows the given name, bestowed because his hair is, what else, kinky. I just wish Kinky was running for governor again this year to get all the hair candidates in the same race.

Gov. Good Hair and Sen. Good Hair have something else in common, beside their manes. They are both former college cheerleaders, which is probably a good background for the job. To his credit, Gov. Good Hair gives the best political stump speech I believe I have ever heard—-he is good at rallying the faithful, or leading cheers.

Sen. Good Hair, on the other hand, does not seem to have the conviction needed to lead a convincing cheer. It’s like she can’t remember the cheer. She promised to serve only two terms in the U.S. Senate, then ran for a third, and has announced several dates for leaving the U.S. Senate to run for governor.

Maybe a good measure for casting votes this spring is to support the candidates who waste the least amount of time taking care of their hair. That rules out the governor and senator, and possibly the hair care tycoon. The former mayor needs little more than a washcloth to style his remaining tresses, just a few minutes which leaves more time for the job. And, what about Kinky? Zero time because any effort to tame the curls is wasted and it is obvious he doesn’t worry about it much.

Picking a candidate by hair may not be as unscientific as you think. The last president with a bald pate was Gerald Ford, who we didn’t elect as president, and the last Texas governor was Preston Smith in the early 1970s.