You Must Plan

Ahead

The safety man said, "Good morning, men. After the fire and explosion last night, it is gratifying to know that you could make it here. But have no fear, I have a great new safety slogan for next year."

Business Calls

Why is it that when they call me, they speak plain English. When I call them they speak pure gibberish.

By Any Other Name

Noah announced, "All animals line up in alphabetical order. We are ready to load the ark."

The anteater said to the alligators and the armadillos, "Excuse me, fellows. I am an aardvark."

Not Me

When caught in an embarassing situation, blame it on whomever. A city council meeting can't last forever.

It's the Law

The judge asked, "What is your excuse for using a cell phone in a school zone?"

He replied, "I was lost and drunk and I didn't know what street I was on."

More of Grandpa

Bill's Wisdom

It takes a real man to apologize. But a real man never plans to apologize.

Grown Up Games

When kids play cowboys and Indians, cowboys always win. When we play casino games, Indians always win.