I had my first cancer dream last night.It was horrible.

It was part realistic, part ridiculous. The setting was Baylor Dallas. The plot climaxed when a doctor announced to me that my Hodgkin's had returned two years after I was first diagnosed in May of 2007.

She performed a biopsy and handed me the cancerous tissue in a Ziploc baggy. (Gross!!!)

Oh, how the mind can tangle up emotions and events in a dream like a tangled up garden hose that has been lying in a heaping pile since last used. Fact and fiction combine ignoring all boundary lines. The dream lasted all night.

My family was stationed in the emergency room with me at the hospital. We made friends throughout our lengthy stay there, and I was visited by friends.

All of this took place with me holding the Ziploc baggy full of my "cancer" and asking others who approached me if they thought it was true or not.

I awoke with the entire right side of my body numb from what appeared to be deep, deep sleep.

More than that, I woke up with a heavy heart. I felt sick at my stomach at first, but looked around at my surroundings and was relieved beyond words to find myself in bed with Blaise.

THE LEADING FUNDRAISER FOR Fairfield junior high school during "Jump Rope for Heart" was Kaci Bachtel. The student raised $232 for American Cancer Society. There were no hospital gowns, medical equipment, or doctors peering at me. I saw only baby dolls, books, and my daughter. I thanked the Lord that it was only a bad dream.

Since then, I have had to consciously transform my mind and keep my thoughts in check.

I can not say that I have experienced this before.

Cancer usually seems like a distant memory, not a current topic in my life.

If I am honest with myself and those of you reading this, I will admit that fear of the "What ifs" lingered with me for much of the next few days.

Therefore, I began rehearsing Philippians 4:6- 7 that says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I repeated it over and over again. If you are also in a present battle of the mind, there is power in the Word of God.

I have also smiled my way through the past few days believing that smiles are contagious and capable of transforming one's mood.

When we give a smile, we usually get one back and the ripple effect takes over to bring joy to all involved.

My preschool age son saw his teacher, Miss Sharon, at a basketball game a few weeks ago.

When I asked him what she was doing, he simply said "She was smiling, Mom. She smiles all the time."

I was deeply moved by his words. I was also convicted about the times that I go through the motions of life for hours, even days maybe, without a smile on my face.

It took my five year old to remind me that one of the most important things we can do each and every day is smile.

It reminds others to look inside and find a reason to be happy as well. A smile exchanged can chase away the negative thoughts. I needed Miss Sharon's example this week.

Probably the reason I had my first scary dream about cancer was that last Monday I went to Baylor for a checkup.

Even if I am healthy, revisiting the place where I went for my treatment forces me revisit the whole experience more than I may like to.

As usual though, the Lord mixes in beauty with everything we do when we invite Him to be involved in our lives.

I found Callie Smith, CANCER FREE, again with the help of the receptionist. We had lost touch because she changed her cell phone and lost my number. Many of you remember Callie from my old columns, prayed for her, and even sent her cards. She was also a patient at Baylor and always was alone.

I wanted to loan her "Team Betsy." I think the Lord in His own way did just that. She said "How is everyone in Fairfield?"

Whether this week finds you full of pain or joy, faith or fear, or even feeling a little bit up or down, invite Jesus to be involved in your life.

He will meet you in the valley or on the mountain. He came, He lived, He died, and He rose again all so that we would accept His invitation of eternal life and joy unspeakable here on earth.

I shudder to think where I would be without the Lord and what He did for us all on the cross.

Open the invitation this Easter for a closer walk with Him.